The Hazards of Hunting While Heartbroken by Mari Passananti

Author:Mari Passananti [Passananti, Mari]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Fiction, General, (¯`'•.¸//(*_*)\\¸.•'´¯)
ISBN: 9780615493640
Publisher: Rutland Square Press
Published: 2011-07-08T01:31:51+00:00

SIXTEEN

“You did not say that to the poor bastard.” Oscar pauses with his wine glass midway between the table and his mouth and looks at me with an expression that manages to convey both amusement and disbelief.

“I’m afraid it came out before I realized what I was saying.” I swirl my own wine, taking care not to swish red stains over the rim and onto the white table cloth. True connoisseurs twirl their wine to bring out the bouquet. In my case, it’s more of a nervous habit that I’ve come to view as the adult version of peeling the labels off beer bottles.

“What did he say?” Oscar leans in across the table. It’s a louder than usual night at normally serene Anissa. As much as I want to be out with my guy, I desperately want to get home and tear into Surplus Boys. I thought about starting it at lunch, but I decided I want to read it in one, or at most two, sittings.

“Silence. For like a minute. Then he changed the subject. But the worst part was that he called me back a few hours later to say that he couldn’t perform this afternoon, and that he had to go back tonight because his wife had already taken the trigger injection, or something like that, and she had threatened to castrate him with an ice cream scoop if she stuck herself again for nothing.”

“Thank you for sharing that lovely image. I have to say, I feel for the guy.”

“People wish they had his problems. He’s sniveling about making $1.2 million dollars and having an orgasm in a cup, when his poor wife is half insane on hormones.” This latest bit of perspective came from Marvin, whose sister is doing the IVF thing. It sounds like about as much fun as being stranded at some Godforsaken Midwestern airport on a layover with Carol. On a Friday night. Of a three day weekend.

“That’s colorful,” Oscar says, and I immediately regret phrasing my thoughts so crassly. I forget he’s still sort of new. I should have my interview manners, and vocabulary, in use. Or should I? We’re sleeping together more nights than not, and he just presented me with an entire apartment, which hardly qualifies as a normal early-in-the-relationship gift. I know I’m a dating novice, but shouldn’t we be letting our real selves shine through at this stage? I’m starting to feel a bit pathetic about not knowing how to proceed. It’s as if we’re simultaneously settled down and newly dating. To an objective observer, our arrangement must seem a bit unorthodox.

But it appears to be working for me and Oscar, so instead of steering into dangerous terrain by introducing a potentially toxic topic, I do the cowardly thing. “Sorry. I was just repeating the way Marvin, my colleague, explained his sister’s experience with the fertility medicine ordeal. So, anyway, because of Niles and Susie’s treatment schedule, I had to do a tap dance and explain to the

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